The things that will never make it in the baby books and other musings from a stay at home mom

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Mommy math

They didn't teach this stuff in any math class I ever took. Perhaps pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing were all I ever really needed to unlock my inner math genius, because it all seems so clear to me now...


1 + 1 = 3 (or more!)


"what he has" > "what I have"

the last hour of the day = all 23 of the other hours combined

"what he has" = "what I want"

a + b + c + d = a great song to sing over and over until Mommy has a terrible headache

"what he has" = "what I NEED"

m + m = bribery at its best

"what he has" = "what I MUST have RIGHT NOW"

patience possessed < patience needed

love = infinite, despite all rational proof to the contrary


At 2:34 PM, Blogger Kristy said...

And this math geek just LOVES your math. I think you might find yourself a position at MIT with that one. Or, at least, at the chalkboard easel in your playroom...

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Steph said...

Another math geek chiming in. Love it!

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

The polar opposite of a math geek checking in - but unlike my college trig. class, these equations make perfect sense to me. Too funny!

At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Gretchen C. said...

Hi, remember me? I'm the girl who reads you all the time but never manages to post a comment these days . . . . math is a lot like that at our house, too! Not to mention turning statistics on its head on a daily basis . . . what are the odds that with 500,000 toys in the house, two little boys invariably BOTH simultaneously must play with the same one, and will come to blows over it?

At 10:59 PM, Blogger Dana said...

Perfect! (says this wanna-be math geek)

At 12:02 AM, Blogger Rosemary said...

Yet another math geek checking in... :-) ... Since you guys have covered the children's domain, the range of my observation will be animals.

Yes, the grass is most definitely greener on the other side of the fence (observations from the horse farm). That's probably because you've got me penned in with all these other piggy mares who have eaten the roots right out of the grass! Feed me!!!!!

Dogs can most definitely count. Try giving treats to 4 dogs. They know exactly what any of the other dogs has "gotten" and they want their due. However, this must be understood together with the pre-eminece of pecking order. Higher status animals must be fed first. No problem with a meal because all are still eating by the time lowest totem animal gets fed. Problem arises with handing out small treats, like dog biscuits. It's an "infinity queue". Handout treats all around - animals count treats and you're ok - BUT - animal at the end of queue (lowest status animal by definition) is eating while highest status animal (and voracious eater - always!) has not - so, highest animal must be fed. I think the infinity queue of hungry mouths in an ordered universe will be the topic of my PhD should I ever choose to pursue one.

And just to move out of the animal range into the dominant and sometimes manipulative parent domain... there's the "grass is greener family", i.e. my own family, no matter how intelligent, succesful, mature, (just lay on your own kindly adjectives...) will always have character deficits that are perceived / received by parent such that deficits are 180 degrees out of phase with achievements resulting in neutralization of perception, i.e. greeness of one's accomplishments turns grey, while deficits of other families' children may be perceived in phase and at lower modulation so as not to impact the overall value of the greeness of their achievements.

At 8:12 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Just more examples of the universal nature of mathematics!


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