Refocusing

Every once in a while, you get a little reminder of how good you have it. Today was one of those days. I got an email this morning from my college roommate, announcing the birth of her new daughter. The baby was originally due on Evan's birthday -- 3 full months from now -- making her barely past the age of viability when she arrived. She's just over 2 pounds and so far, the doctors say she's doing surprisingly well. Appropriately enough, they've named her Hope.

At the moment I opened the email, Evan was smearing baby food all over himself and grinding Cheerios into a fine powder, Julia was refusing to eat breakfast for reasons that were entirely unclear to me and had turned her banana into a finger paint experiment, and my house looked like it had been ransacked by an army of buffalos rather than two small children who'd been up for less than 15 minutes. I'd turned to my computer as a way to disengage from the chaos, in the hopes that an email from a friend would take me away from my reality for a moment. Instead, Shari's email refocused my reality for me, and I turned back to my children, immensely grateful for all that I have.

I am acutely aware today of just how heavy Evan feels in my arms and just how light 2 pounds must feel. And all I keep thinking is that I hope that a year from now, Hope will be driving her mother as batty as my kids were driving me this morning before the news of her arrival made me stop and think.