The things that will never make it in the baby books and other musings from a stay at home mom

Thursday, September 01, 2005

If I'd a-known you were coming, I'd-a baked a cake

Every so often, my husband reads my blog. (Hi, honey! Yes, I see your visits on my stat counter. Slow day at work today, eh?)

The fact that I maintain this blog is no secret between us, nor is any of the stuff I write about. He's usually witnessed or heard all of the stories before he reads them here anyway, although not with whatever spin I might put on an anecdote when I write it down. Nonetheless, I always feel a little funny when I see that he's dropped by here, as if he's temporarily gotten a peek directly into my mind. I have to confess, the idea makes me a tad squirmy. I'm pleased to see that he's interested in my writing and my thoughts, but somehow I feel more accountable for what I say when I know I'm saying it to someone who knows and loves the people and situations that I write about as much as I do. (No, don't stop visiting. I'm just saying it's a little weird to just "see" you there. It has to feel the same way to you reading this, no?)

Only one other "real life" friend reads this blog. Caroline's my closest friend and in many ways more of a confidante than Paul, so for whatever reason, her daily visits don't faze me as much. She kept her own blog for a brief time before her children decided napping was a fool's pastime and I enjoyed checking in on her as regularly as she now checks in on me. (It's never too late to start writing again, Caroline!) Occasionally, she'll reference something she reads here ("I had to find out about a lump in your mom's breast on your BLOG?"), but for the most part, her reading what I write here just seems to be an extension of our 27 daily conversations, most of which consist of stream-of-conscious babbling by one of us anyway. Despite my comfort level with sharing this with her, I'm never even tempted to tell anyone else I know that I blog. I can see how my writing would change if people I interact with regularly were to read it, and I'm not interested in that kind of self-editing.

Strangers on the Internet? Come one, come all, and read my rambling. People I know? Far less sure how I feel about that. Not quite sure what that says about me, but I suspect I'm far from the only blogger to feel that way.


At 5:40 PM, Blogger Steph said...

I admit it... me too! I started my blog to keep the mundane things, and keep track of all the firsts, etc so that distant family and friends could check in and see what was going on with us. I have no idea how many (or if any) of them actually read it, but if I start to think about writing about something, I often change my mind before writing it, not knowing if anyone I "know" will be checking in :)

At 3:01 PM, Blogger Kristy said...

We've talked about this -- I'm still figuring this one out. My writing is so essential to me, and I've finally found, in the blog medium, my "match", so I try to remain faithful to what I want to say. That said, I'm only cautiously beginning to talk about my relationship with my mother -- because, in the long run I want my kids to know about it, and, fundamentally, because I love her so, though the writing may be misinterpreted by her, if, god forbid, she ever read it. I'm prepared though, for her to read's the truth as I know it, so I've nothing to be ashamed of. Now, as for the MIL... ;-)


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