Classifieds

MISSING: Sweet 3 year old girl. Last seen quietly playing with her toys. Appears to have been replaced with demon clone while my back was turned. REWARD.

FREE TO GOOD HOME: 3 year old girl. Has all shots (though distemper may need to be re-administered) and is potty trained. Comes with own time out chair.

EMPLOYMENT WANTED: Overeducated, underutilized mother of 2 seeks position. Job duties and compensation unimportant, provided I can cover a nanny's salary. No work at home positions, please -- I've had quite enough of that lately, thank you very much.