My drug of choice

Apologies for my slightly incoherent ramblings yesterday. I was a little disjointed all day, and my blog entry was no exception, I'm afraid. I finally figured out last night why my whole day had been so "off" -- in my rush to get us all out of the house yesterday morning, I never got my coffee. Kind of scary how dependent my body is on that morning cupful of energy. Even scarier how my body is almost singing this morning as I replenish its supply of caffeine. And scariest of all is that I just caught myself passing some frightening values along to Julia. I was talking to her in that annoying "fill the silence with ANYTHING" narration of my day without even thinking about what I was saying. "I was useless without my cup of coffee yesterday, wasn't I," I heard myself ask her. "I'm going to have coffee this morning and then I'll be a much happier Mommy," I promised. "Coffee makes everything better."

"...And cigarettes will keep you skinny," I might as well have continued. "And alcohol will help you relax in front of that cute guy you're afraid to talk to. And pot will help you understand your philosophy class and make the world a funnier place. And heroin? I hear that's pretty darn good, too..." Brilliant parenting on my part. But what can I say? I hadn't had my coffee yet.