The things that will never make it in the baby books and other musings from a stay at home mom

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


I had a fun opportunity to edit a friend's writing this afternoon. I know she thought she was asking for a favor, but I got just as much out of the experience as she did -- possibly more, if she ends up disliking my edits. I could feel the adrenaline begin to flow as I started to redline, and my fingers flew as I got into the rewriting groove. I spent much of Julia's quiet time on the project, but I didn't mind a bit -- it was far more enjoyable than picking up the house or trolling eBay for cute kids' clothing. I had fun. And yet, the experience left me feeling down.

I feel down because I just can't get the same rush I get from writing or editing when I'm taking care of my kids. I feel down because as much as I love the job I'm doing right now, I miss my old job, too. I feel down because I've rehashed this struggle countless times already and yet here I am dwelling on it again. And I feel down because I was helping a friend to pursue a dream that I share, yet I can't seem to find the drive to pursue it myself.

I've wanted to write for as long as I can remember. I have the basic skills to freelance. I have the knowledge to freelance. And I probably even have the time to freelance if I make it a priority. So why, nine months after I started this blog to build up a portfolio of stuff that I could later edit and shop around, am I editing friends' work and ignoring my own?

When I grow up, I want to be a writer. But when, pray tell, am I going to grow up?


At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Gretchen C. said...

If it makes you feel any better, this is my old classmate from the University of Delaware:

In our day, Janey and I were considered the two most likely English Department students to be actual writers. She was unbelievably nice, probably still is. That is the only reason I don't hate her.

Feel better?

At 7:55 AM, Blogger Kristy said...

I've already said "thank you", but now I'm going to say how thank-ful I am for your time. I'm glad it was fun, and, in a little way, I'm glad it struck some other emotional chords as well. I'm not saying I'm happy to see you sad (that would be Schadenfreude ;-), but I'm happy that my request stirred a little fire in you...if only for an afternoon.

At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the past couple years -- including this one -- I've done the homes tour description booklet for our neighborhood community center's homes tour. This means in late spring/early summer I go visit people, look around their house, ask questions, do a little research at the library and city hall, and write up a concise description of the home's decor and history.

And since I'm on a deadline, it usually means it gets at least some of that writing bug out of my system, because I seem to always put everything off until just before stuff needs to go to the printer. D'oh!

-- Timingiseverything from ivillage


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