The flip side of social growth and development: a play in three short acts

The Scene: Julia's school Chanukah party

Act One: Julia and her best friend dance happily, hand in hand, to the holiday music. Another little girl approaches them and tries to join in on the dance. They clutch hands even tighter and refuse to let her in. The child gives up and walks away sadly. Julia's friend's mother tries to include the third child in the circle and the girls suddenly become tired of dancing and refuse to continue.

Act Two: One of Julia's favorite children in the whole world (and one for whom I hold a particular soft spot) asks Julia and her best friend to pose for a picture with her. The girls line up for the photo, and chaos ensues. Julia and her best friend staunchly refuse to let the child pose between them. When she tries to break through, they simply circle around again to each other, giggling. Finally, the mothers intervene and line the girls up. No one is smiling in the picture.

Act Three: The same little girl tries to follow Julia and her best friend over to the puzzle table, where they ignore her completely. She walks away crying. I shepherd her back to the table and encourage the girls to play in a group. My success is limited and fleeting.

It's a sad, but established fact that girls can often be catty and exclusive. I remember this from my own childhood and I remember how much it hurt. I've seen it happen to Julia on occasion and that hurt me, too. But watching my child be the one to inflict the pain on others? That hurt the most of all, by far.

My little girl is growing up, and I don't like it one bit.