The things that will never make it in the baby books and other musings from a stay at home mom

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

This damn genetic mirror is clearly warped

Paul's been complaining for years that I am too argumentative. He claims that I jump to disagree automatically, regardless of what he says or how I really feel. This is an entirely unfounded accusation, of course. I agree with Paul often (somehow, he doesn't seem to notice these moments when we are in synch quite as readily as the moments when we aren't) and when I do voice a differing opinion or idea, it is simply because I have one. I admit that I am opinionated, and that I speak up for myself and my ideas (a trait which could not have come as a surprise to my husband, given the fact that we were friends before we were a couple), but having strong opinions is very different from being argumentative. I've tried to explain this to Paul on occasion, but my explanations apparently sound like arguments and, well, it's a vicious cycle.

Julia's been particularly vociferous and difficult this summer, a stage which seems to have been brought on by a nasty combination of summer heat, "big kid" status at camp and a cumulative lack of sleep. Our communication has been rife with disagreement, and I feel like I'm constantly fielding yet another whine or extended negotiation. This morning, as she was avoiding my efforts to get her ready for camp, I finally realized what the problem is. No matter what I ask her to do, she insists on doing something else. It is an incredibly annoying habit.

I wonder where she got it.


At 4:54 PM, Blogger Rosemary said...

I hear you on different opinions with spouse and very strong-minded children. I daresay that the two are different -- though my children always appeared to be quite capable of giving the well rationalized argument as to why they are right and why I should drop my case. My gut says that Paul would miss *you* if he didn't hear your opinion. On the other hand, with children, rules of debate need to be followed. No whining! And, when child is right, she's right and wins whatever was at stake.

At 5:59 PM, Blogger Liesl said...

Sounds about like our house. Kevin says the same type of thing about me that Paul says about you - I'm contrary only to be contrary. And now Liam is starting this "contrariness" - every suggestion is met with a firm "NO!"

I'm finding it's much more fun to be the contrary party than to be the one attempting to change the mind of Mr. Contrary ;-)


At 12:13 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Hmm...that sounds vaguely familiar. Both the spousal "observation" and the feisty daughter. Hmmm...


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