The things that will never make it in the baby books and other musings from a stay at home mom

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Take than, Mr. Waits To Run The Loud Tools Until My Son Is Just About To Drift Off

I truly don't know that I've ever lived through a more trying day with my children. For over two hours straight, someone -- more often than not, two someones -- offered up hysterical screams punctuated only by incoherent babble. The noise was deafening, the stress hellacious. The lack of sleep, the change of routine and the intense noise level of our kitchen remodeling project had finally caught up with everyone and there was simply no making anyone happy. I finally stopped even trying and just sat there tuning out the cacophony and waiting for it all to be over. It was one of those times when the bedlam around you is so great that you can't even scream back and instead end up retreating inside of yourself to find your inner zen. Seriously bad stuff. And to witness it all? Our cabinet workman.

Normally, the thought of a stranger witnessing my children at their worst would be enough to set me into complete hysteria. Hell, I don't even let Julia out of the house without fixing her hair; never let Evan go anywhere with a dirty shirt and here they both were as completely ugly as I've ever seen them in front of a man none of us had ever seen before this week. But today I was frankly too tired and spent to even care. We've listened to his noise all goddamned week. Now he got to listen to some of ours. Maybe he'll be so horrified by what he's seen here that he'll work faster so he can get the hell out of our house.

I am not embarking on any more remodeling projects until my children are in elementary school. Possibly ever, but definitely at least not until elementary school. If I even suggest such a thing, someone please put a nail gun to my head immediately. I know just where you can find one. And let me tell you, it's really fucking loud.


At 12:20 AM, Anonymous Heather-Mama Romano said...

Just try to remember yesterday - that was a good day - and tomorrow (well soon anyways) when you have your beautiful kitchen and everyone is back in routines. That just stinks and I am sending hugs your way - why is it they wait till naptime to do that loud crap anyways - just went through that with our backyard, the rule was, no jackhammering till after 1pm - or at least that is how they acted - the nerve - why not 8am is beyond me!

At 11:59 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I will re-read this post every time I want to embark on a similar kitchen-remodeling project. Which is every time I walk into my kitchen. But patience, patience -- as you've confirmed, remodeling + young kids = stress headache.

Hang in there!

At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Gretchen C. said...

Don't worry -- about what the cabinet guy thinks, I mean. I'm sure he is used to disrupting families' lives on a day-to-day basis and being greeted with snarls instead of smiles wherever he goes. He does this for a living, after all.

I can only imagine the noise and the hellacious moods of your children. You have my sincere sympathy. If you want to take up drinking martinis in the afternoons on a temporary emergency basis, I'm all cool with that.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Kristy said...

You do know you picked *the most* disruptive remodeling project, didn't you? Oh, wait, there's also the remodeling of the *only* bathroom in the house -- haven't tried that? Let me tell you, I don't recommend it, even without kids ;-)

I highly recommend Gretchen's prescription. Double doses allowed.

At 6:56 PM, Blogger Gina said...

OMG, I don't think I've ever heard (okay, "seen") the high hard F word ever come out of your mouth (fingers) in the three years I've known you! This must be pure hell. I hope it's over quickly -- for all of your sakes!


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