See no pee pee, hear no pee pee

I have sworn up and down and left and right and every which way that I am not going to potty train Evan until he's begging for it. I've watched friends with kids about his age start dragging out the little potties and the Elmo potty rings and the pullups and I've smiled and shaken my head. Not us. Not here. Not yet. Training Julia didn't exactly go smoothly. Boys train later than girls. He's clearly not ready. I'm not going there. End of discussion.

For the past month or so, Evan's been showing more and more of the classic readiness signs and I've been steadfastly discounting them. He's talking about elimination ad nauseum and announcing his bodily functions like a sports commentator? I guess boys just like talking about such things. He refuses to stay in a dirty diaper? Can't blame him... sounds uncomfortable to me, too. He searches for potties everywhere we go and spends enormous amounts of time talking excitedly about them? The child has a mother with an itty bitty bladder. I look for potties everywhere we go. It's no wonder he thinks they're so important. There's nothing out of the ordinary going on here. I'm not wasting my time or energy even thinking about potty training. He's way too young. I'm not getting fooled into starting this nonsense.

Today, Evan dragged me into the bathroom before his nap on yet another "seek and discuss" potty mission. I steeled myself for the inevitable conversation about a potty's merits that was sure to follow. But instead of talking happily about potties, Evan made a pronouncement. "I pee pee on potty," he said, clear as a bell, and he started pulling his pants down.

Shit. Here we were in a place I didn't want to be. I've been saying all along that I'll wait until he's begging, until nothing but the potty will do as a place to put his urine. But here he was, fumbling with his zipper and announcing his intentions. It looked, if I was forced to be honest, a tad bit like begging. Would I screw up yet another round of potty training if I didn't play along? Sighing, I helped him with his pants and removed his diaper. I turned to the vanity to pull out the potty seat I had stored under there after Julia had finished with this horrible process and as I was rummaging around in there, Evan urinated. NEXT to the potty. "I pee pee in potty," he announced proudly as a puddle of urine pooled three inches to the right of the toilet.

Despite myself, I smiled as I cleaned up the mess and re-diapered my son. Next to the potty is not in the potty. And thus, we are absolutely not on the road to potty training.