Hello. My name is Rebecca and I am an enabler.
Me: Julia, I've been thinking. When you're at camp or at a playdate without me and things don't go your way, do you whine and cry?
Julia (surprised and a little horrified): Noooo... why?
Me: Well, I was thinking about the argument that you had with C over that puzzle and the way you cried when he didn't want to share it with you. If Miss M or C's mommy had been there with you guys and not me, what would you have done? Would you have cried?
Julia: No. (thoughtful pause) I guess I would have just asked him again to share with me or gone off and done something else.
Me: Those both would have been good ways to handle the situation. So why can't you behave the same way when I'm around?
Me: I think we both have some thinking to do about this, huh?
A very subdued Julia: Uh huh.