The things that will never make it in the baby books and other musings from a stay at home mom

Monday, March 27, 2006

Once a mother, always a mother

It's been about 3 1/2 months since I invited my mother to read this blog, and I've truthfully got no regrets. Sharing my life with her in this way has been rewarding for both of us, and has led to quite a few interesting discussions and even the unexpected (but very appreciated) gift of a lifetime supply of Shabbat candles. Giving my mother the link to this site has created one side effect which I hadn't anticipated, however. If I don't post, she panics.

"Just checking in," her emails will read. "No blog post today. Is everyone OK?"

"Hi, Becca, it's Mom,"
I'll hear on my home voice mail. "You haven't posted on the blog today and I got worried that Evan might have had another asthma attack. Give me a call."

Yesterday, I even retrieved a voice mail message that she left on my cell phone voice mail a week or two ago. I never remember to check my cell for messages, so I'd missed this little gem at the time. "Hi, Becca, it's Mom," it said. "I emailed you and I also just left you a message at home. You haven't posted on the blog, and I just wanted to make sure everything was OK. I'm not sure where you are. Maybe you're putting Evan down or getting Julia set up in quiet time. Maybe you're just in the bathroom. I'll try you again in a few minutes."

We have never been the kind of family who keeps in constant contact with everyday phone calls. My father, who subscribes to the "bad news travels fast" school of thought, is particularly inclined to let time pass between calls. (On one truly memorable occasion, he even refused a collect call I made to him from summer camp. He knew why I was calling and he didn't have the information that I needed, so he saw no reason to pay for the call.) My mom and I speak a little more frequently than he might deem necessary, but several days do generally lapse between our conversations and that's always been fine with both of us. But I think I've created a bit of a monster with this blog thing, because suddenly we've gone from "bad news travels fast" to "no news must be bad." And truth be told, it cracks me up, both as a daughter and as a fellow mother.

Mom, I know that your first instinct will be to fall all over yourself apologizing when you read this and that you'll refrain from calling or emailing me for a few days even if you really have something important to say. Don't bother. I'm laughing with you, not at you. OK, I'm laughing with you and at you. But I'm pretty sure every other mother who reads this blog probably is, too, so you might as well laugh right along with us.

I'll be expecting your call...


At 5:44 PM, Blogger Kristy said...

This is very funny. Of course, I read it and think: "Reason 2,387 why I SHOULDN'T hand over my link to my mom." We're already in contact AT LEAST once a day...add in this blog? I shudder to t hink.

At 6:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm Sharon and I've been reading your blog for awhile now. I love the way you write and today's entry is so right on! (and I can so relate!) If I don't talk to my daughter at least once during the day I get panicked and start thinking all those bad thoughts until I get ahold of her! You will so understand when your children get older and more social away from you. I always remind my daughter "you'd be really sad if I didn't care about you or call you" and then we look at each other and she makes a face and then we smile... Thanks for sharing your beautiful family.

At 6:25 PM, Blogger chichimama said...

Laughing. Similar issues over here. Although we also have the reverse issue "Oh, I know all about that problem, I already read your blog..."

At 7:25 PM, Blogger Steph said...

My mom and I talk on the phone several times a day. If she hasn't spoken to me by 10am or so, she starts to worry. Ironically, the reverse is sometimes true, too. (although usually related to my dad's treatments) Thanks for the laugh. :)

At 7:28 PM, Anonymous chelle said...

lol! My entire family reads my blog. My Dad was down for a visit and we went on a mini vacation for the weekend.....I had 5 voice mails and 20 emails asking if I was ok b/c I had not blogged!!!

At 7:40 PM, Anonymous Gretchen said...

I used to be frustrated that my mother never goes on the Internet, until I started my blog. And now I rejoice daily! Because my blog can still have cussing!

Tell your mom to send ME a lifetime supply of Shabbat candles, too, because after those trips to Sherman's Deli I am absolutely converting, and will sign up with the Reform temple across the street immediately, just so I can eat that food.

At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Mom said...

Oh dear--I've been busted.
The funny thing is, when you and Dan were away at school and we didn't speak for days on end I really didn't worry. (I always thought those moms who spoke to their kids every day were a little bit over-protective.) Full disclosure--I also read Jordan's blog religiously and worry if SHE doesn't post for a day, too.

At 12:24 AM, Blogger Awesome Mom said...

That is too funny and yet another reason I have not told my mother about my little piece of the internet.

At 3:42 AM, Anonymous Becca's Brother said...

Ok, I'm not a Mom - and even I wonder whats up when you don't post. I wouldn't say I worry, but I do wonder. This seems to have the opposite effect for us, though. With Jordan's blog I feel less urgency to call Mom and Dad and fill them in on the minutia of our lives. Given the 7 hour time difference, once every week or two seems ok - they know everything already from reading the blog. :)

At 9:10 AM, Blogger jordan said...

good god! i'd like to think that i don't include all the minutia in my blog. i try to keep it interesting, if a bit fictionalized for your entertainment.

cindy, if you had a blog and you didn't post i would worry about you too.

can't you just feel the family love?

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Gina said...

What's really cracking me up is:
(a) I agree with Gretchen - I don't tell my mom about my blog so I can cuss -- though my next-door neighbor does read my blog and she's a preacher's wife so I try to keep it a little sanitized.
(b) Mom, Dan and Jordan's comments (yes, Jordan, I feel the family love)
(c) I'm just like your Mom and Dan..."No blog post today. Are they okay? Did Evan end up in the ER again?" Even if I don't comment, I'm checking on you daily. However, I will refrain from calling to ask if you're in the bathroom.

So, how the heck are ya?

At 10:33 PM, Blogger Dana said...

This really made me smile since I can so clearly see myself and my mom in this post.

However, since my entries have been so infrequent of late, my mom no longer worries about me.


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